cobretti
Fire Shark Shinobi
Strong Arm Of The Law
Posts: 1,760 
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Post by cobretti on Jun 4, 2018 19:57:10 GMT
It does. Have you ever seen any movies starring Jean Claude Van Damme? He was a pretty good villain in The Expendables 2. Also he's in The Last Action Hero, but I can't remember what part he played there. He played himself at the movie premiere. |
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cobretti
Fire Shark Shinobi
Strong Arm Of The Law
Posts: 1,760
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Post by cobretti on Jun 6, 2018 0:15:51 GMT
Balder have you watched Kickboxer yet?
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Balder
Supreme Overlord
Trying to cut down the amount of movies I watch
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Post by Balder on Jun 6, 2018 0:40:57 GMT
Balder have you watched Kickboxer yet? I was going to, but all I did was play Smite, DW Gundam 2 and Watch ZZ Gundam. Will probably watch it tomorrow morning. |
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cobretti
Fire Shark Shinobi
Strong Arm Of The Law
Posts: 1,760
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Post by cobretti on Jun 6, 2018 1:00:40 GMT
Balder have you watched Kickboxer yet? I was going to, but all I did was play Smite, DW Gundam 2 and Watch ZZ Gundam. Will probably watch it tomorrow morning.  Why? |
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Balder
Supreme Overlord
Trying to cut down the amount of movies I watch
Posts: 6,838
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Post by Balder on Jun 6, 2018 1:47:07 GMT
I was going to, but all I did was play Smite, DW Gundam 2 and Watch ZZ Gundam. Will probably watch it tomorrow morning. Why? If you really want to know, beyond it being rhetorical, I wasn't really in a film watching mood today, which is weird since I watch more than one movie a day at average. I haven't watched any movies since I saw Ran. I watched ZZ Gundam since I've been playing a Gundam game. And I played Smite since a friend was over. But as I said, within 12 hours my review will posted here. |
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Balder
Supreme Overlord
Trying to cut down the amount of movies I watch
Posts: 6,838
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Post by Balder on Jun 6, 2018 13:15:04 GMT
Here's my review as promised:
"It is like Rocky and The Karate Kid had a kid together that never lived up to either of its parents, and was also abandoned in Vietnam. Van Damme is fun to watch as he is actually pretty athletic and can do some cool moves. Unfortunately he cannot fight very well, hence the large amounts of jump cuts in every fighting scene. As for the story, everything is ripped of more famous movies, and the only thing that feels slightly original is its setting. The jammed in romance does not help either. Despite all of this it is fairly enjoyable to watch and the soundtrack is killer." 3/5.
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cobretti
Fire Shark Shinobi
Strong Arm Of The Law
Posts: 1,760
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Post by cobretti on Jun 6, 2018 20:57:41 GMT
Here's my review as promised: "It is like Rocky and The Karate Kid had a kid together that never lived up to either of its parents, and was also abandoned in Vietnam. Van Damme is fun to watch as he is actually pretty athletic and can do some cool moves. Unfortunately he cannot fight very well, hence the large amounts of jump cuts in every fighting scene. As for the story, everything is ripped of more famous movies, and the only thing that feels slightly original is its setting. The jammed in romance does not help either. Despite all of this it is fairly enjoyable to watch and the soundtrack is killer." 3/5. Not 5/5?  |
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Balder
Supreme Overlord
Trying to cut down the amount of movies I watch
Posts: 6,838
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Post by Balder on Jun 6, 2018 23:37:46 GMT
Here's my review as promised: "It is like Rocky and The Karate Kid had a kid together that never lived up to either of its parents, and was also abandoned in Vietnam. Van Damme is fun to watch as he is actually pretty athletic and can do some cool moves. Unfortunately he cannot fight very well, hence the large amounts of jump cuts in every fighting scene. As for the story, everything is ripped of more famous movies, and the only thing that feels slightly original is its setting. The jammed in romance does not help either. Despite all of this it is fairly enjoyable to watch and the soundtrack is killer." 3/5. Not 5/5? What is the requirements for a 5/5 for you? The movie is sort of a rip-off. It banks on other much better movies. |
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scipioafricanus
Cartoon Pony Wrangler
Sega Does What Nintendon't... except the 32X
Posts: 3,614
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Post by scipioafricanus on Jun 7, 2018 0:40:23 GMT
Here's my review as promised: "It is like Rocky and The Karate Kid had a kid together that never lived up to either of its parents, and was also abandoned in Vietnam. Van Damme is fun to watch as he is actually pretty athletic and can do some cool moves. Unfortunately he cannot fight very well, hence the large amounts of jump cuts in every fighting scene. As for the story, everything is ripped of more famous movies, and the only thing that feels slightly original is its setting. The jammed in romance does not help either. Despite all of this it is fairly enjoyable to watch and the soundtrack is killer." 3/5. Have you seen Bloodsport? |
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cobretti
Fire Shark Shinobi
Strong Arm Of The Law
Posts: 1,760
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Post by cobretti on Jun 7, 2018 0:45:37 GMT
Not 5/5? What is the requirements for a 5/5 for you? The movie is sort of a rip-off. It banks on other much better movies. JCVD is an instant 3/5. Hot dance moves bump it up another star. A curly mullet and moustache is a star by itself. The dancers at the strip bar had some big breasts so that would be a star. Kickboxing usually is good for two stars. So, without getting too in depth, Kickboxer is in reality an 8/5. What I look for in movies are... Violence (the more gratuitous, the better) Female nudity (the more gratuitous, the better) Hijinks Powerful physiques Lesbians Martial arts Big guns Quality one liners These are the elements to making a 5/5 movie. |
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Cervantes
Off-Brand Transformable Robot
A former Incompetent Evil Commander (XP: 2423)
Posts: 2,863
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Post by Cervantes on Jun 7, 2018 0:58:05 GMT
JCVD is an instant 3/5. Hot dance moves bump it up another star. A curly mullet and moustache is a star by itself. The dancers at the strip bar had some big breasts so that would be a star. Kickboxing usually is good for two stars. So, without getting too in depth, Kickboxer is in reality an 8/5. I like how cobretti used the scientific method to grade this movie. There's a clear theoretical fundamentation, a thoroughly discussed methodology and an important mention of boobies. One just can't argue against that. |
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Balder
Supreme Overlord
Trying to cut down the amount of movies I watch
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Post by Balder on Jun 7, 2018 10:33:38 GMT
What is the requirements for a 5/5 for you? The movie is sort of a rip-off. It banks on other much better movies. JCVD is an instant 3/5. Hot dance moves bump it up another star. A curly mullet and moustache is a star by itself. The dancers at the strip bar had some big breasts so that would be a star. Kickboxing usually is good for two stars. So, without getting too in depth, Kickboxer is in reality an 8/5. What I look for in movies are... Violence (the more gratuitous, the better) Female nudity (the more gratuitous, the better) Hijinks Powerful physiques Lesbians Martial arts Big guns Quality one liners These are the elements to making a 5/5 movie. Is there nothing that can drag a movie down? |
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cobretti
Fire Shark Shinobi
Strong Arm Of The Law
Posts: 1,760
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Post by cobretti on Jun 7, 2018 14:44:12 GMT
JCVD is an instant 3/5. Hot dance moves bump it up another star. A curly mullet and moustache is a star by itself. The dancers at the strip bar had some big breasts so that would be a star. Kickboxing usually is good for two stars. So, without getting too in depth, Kickboxer is in reality an 8/5. What I look for in movies are... Violence (the more gratuitous, the better) Female nudity (the more gratuitous, the better) Hijinks Powerful physiques Lesbians Martial arts Big guns Quality one liners These are the elements to making a 5/5 movie. Is there nothing that can drag a movie down? Sure. Male nudity. No action. Romance that doesn’t lead to nudity. |
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Balder
Supreme Overlord
Trying to cut down the amount of movies I watch
Posts: 6,838
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Post by Balder on Jun 7, 2018 15:29:41 GMT
Is there nothing that can drag a movie down? Sure. Male nudity. No action. Romance that doesn’t lead to nudity. What about that lame ass romance in Kickboxer? Completely unnecessary. |
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cobretti
Fire Shark Shinobi
Strong Arm Of The Law
Posts: 1,760
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Post by cobretti on Jun 7, 2018 15:46:49 GMT
Sure. Male nudity. No action. Romance that doesn’t lead to nudity. What about that lame ass romance in Kickboxer? Completely unnecessary. Did you take note of that curly mullet and moustache combo? |
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