MotW: Puma Man

I pulled out my VHS copy and discovered the case had a crack! Oh well, it's probably not worth that much anyway.

Somewhere in London, the black-clad Bond villains, lead by Kobras (Donald Pleasance) have this mask and use it to control people. They have knowledge of this Puma Man and set out to eliminate him, namely by throwing American men out the window. In the midst of this, this South American High Priest, who looks like a Bond villian, tracks down our hero Tony, who's of the Puma Man bloodline.

Of course, what does he do when he finds Tony? Throws him out the window to uncover his Puma powers! BOOM! Your expectations subverted! Because you thought he would be an assassin!

Tony, is a scientist, but has the brain of a dumb jock. He has this spider puma sense, but often seems to ignore it. And, if he really had this all his life, you'd think he'd get better at defending himself. Also, falls completely in love with someone who was clearly a honey trap, and even comes back to get her help.

He puts on the belt, and suddenly he's in this cheap outfit. His formal black shoes get replaced with moccasins, and this brown shirt that looked like it was scored from a local flea market. I've seen kids' costumes with more effort. 



False advertising at its finest BOOM! Your expectations...oh shut up.

The writers seemed to make up powers as the script went along. First, he can sort of fly, badly, against some grainy sky footage. He can phase through walls into another dimension, yet doesn't do that to dodge gunfire. He can break through walls, pierce metal with his fingers but has trouble wrestling old man Kobras. BOOM! Your expectations subverted again!

The script leaves so many questions. Most of them are: "...huh?"

In fact, there was this part where Kobras escapes through a trap door in the floor. And Tony just rips it out to go after him instead of, you know, phasing through it! 

There was this other scene where he pretends to be dead, and really fools the henchmen who come looking for him. And who REALLY should have put a bullet in his head, considering Tony is a certified superhuman.

With all due respect to the late Donald Pleasance, I prefer my villians to be less stoic. I mean, who was this guy? How did he know so much about the Puma Man? Why did he believe the Puma Man was real enough to want to take him out? They could've just used the Mask to find and take control of him. And if they were serious about killing him with a honey trap, a knife to the back would be more efficient than getting his heavies to beat him up. BTW Don said this was the worst movie he ever worked on, but I think he probably needed the money.

The OST is only like 5 tracks. You could probably fit it on a small LP.

Yep, I give this a 1 out of 5.