GotW: Donkey Kong 64

I remember playing this a few times after renting it, and I remember it being a large scale collect-a-thon. Perhaps I should give it another chance?

Hey, yeah! Now we're talking! I was just thinking about DK 64 the other day actually. This here is an underrated gem. Even though the level design and platforming is nothing special even by Rareware standards, the level of variety in DK 64 is simply second to none. Firstly, you have five different playable characters, FIVE OF THEM. I mean, holy shit, by 3D platformer standards taht's a shit-load of characters. And what's remarkable about this is that they're all really fleshed out, too! They all have unique walk cycle animations, weapons, instruments, combat moves and everything. And that leads me to point number two: DK 64 is essentially two games in one; one part platformer, and one part beat-em-up. And the beat-em-up portion is surprisingly fun and really satisfying, satisfying in the same way that the combat in the battletoads games were. I love reeling back and clobbering the shit out of the kremlings with Chunky's special punch attack. And what makes it even better is that the enemies don't feel like they're made of glass like in the Banjo Kazooie games. Some enemies require multiple smacks to bring down, and certain enemy types can only be beaten with specific attacks, giving the combat a refreshing amount of variety.

Oh, and it has a decent multiplayer mode. AND on top of that, it has two unlockable classic retro games: the original Donkey Kong and Rareware own Jetpac.

So overall, Donkey Kong 64 is basically four times better than either of the Banjo Kazooie 64 games since it literally is four times the game when you merge these four aspects of DK 64 together. Regardless of whether you're a fan of 3D platformers or beat-em-ups, everyone wins with DK 64. I rank it as either a 4/5 or 5/5 game. I would say it's my third favorite Rareware game after Perfect Dark Zero and Battletoads Arcade.

Oh, and WHY THE F*CK HASN'T NINTENDO PUT ALL THE KONGS IN SMASH YET?!?









Plus, there's also Dixie Kong and Kiddie Kong (or "Pajama Kong" as I like to call him) MIA, too!

Nintendo OWNS the rights to these characters, so why the FUCK haven't they put them in Smash Bros yet?!? I haven't given a shit about Smash Bros since 2008 and even I want to see them added to the roaster! It's bullshit. Has Nintendo forgotten about these fighters or do they just not care about their more obscure characters? I'm guessing it's just the latter. Typical modern Nintendo BS.

FUCK Nintendo. Instead of making games aimed at oldschool, hardcore Nintendo fanboys, they just make shitty crossover party games aimed at toddlers and slobbering manchildren nowadays. Melee didn't have any of that shit. It was just pure Nintedno IPs from top to bottom, how it should be. Ranting about this makes me want to become a modder just so I can make a Melee mod myself that would add in all these kongs plus other neglected Nintendo characters like Waluigi and the old-school Fire Emblem lords, to name a few. Honestly, when you look at all the sheer scores of forgotten Nintendo characters, it makes you realize that Nintendo never even needed guest fighters to pad out their roasters for Smash; you could easily have a roaster of 100 fleshed-out fighters from strictly first party Nintendo games. This just proves that Nintendo is a creatively bankrupt sellout that only cares about focus group test results from preschools full of slobbering babies nowadays.

I don't think I was a fan of this either, but there is something about the graphics of the N64 that makes me want to play these games. It's not the same for PS1 titles unless they are remastered.

I remember getting bored with it, kinda hoping to revisit and give it another shot in the future.